For parents of higher-functioning children with disabilities, one of the key decisions when their child turns 18 is whether guardianship is necessary. While the goal is often to help children live as independently as possible, there are situations where additional support may be needed, particularly in making significant decisions. Striking the right balance between independence and support is crucial, and careful planning can help ensure the best choices are made for the child’s future.
I often suggest to parents that they start by creating a list of the pros and cons of guardianship. It’s a helpful way to explore how guardianship might fit into your child’s life and what kind of role you would like to play in their future. Here are a few questions to consider:
Will the Parent Need to Step in for Important Decisions?
As parents, it’s natural to want your adult child to feel independent and capable, and sometimes there’s a concern that guardianship may carry a stigma. The desire to protect your child from feeling limited or less than others is understandable. However, there are important factors to consider.
How does your child respond in emergencies? There may be times when you need to make crucial decisions, especially if your child is unable to communicate during a stressful situation like a meltdown. As a parent, you are best positioned to understand your child’s needs, making your involvement in such moments essential.
Encouraging independence is important, but in some cases, you may need to step in for your child’s safety. One thing to consider is that in emergency situations, if guardianship has not been established, you may find yourself needing to go to court for approval to make decisions, which could cause delays in timely intervention. Weighing these factors thoughtfully can help you make the best decision for your child’s well-being.
Is the Child Being Given Enough Independence?
I’ve encountered many parents who, understandably, are deeply protective of their children. It’s a natural instinct, especially when they want to ensure their child is safe and well cared for. However, it is crucial to evaluate whether enough space is being given for the child to grow toward independence.
As parents, we may feel compelled to step in and assist, but it’s equally important to provide opportunities for the child to make their own decisions in key areas—whether it’s social relationships, work, or living arrangements.
The question isn’t just about protection—it’s about helping your child develop the independence they need to thrive. Reflecting on this can help guide you in finding the right balance for their future.
Limited Guardianship: A Tailored Option for Increased Independence
If full guardianship seems unnecessary, limited guardianship can be a useful option. In Massachusetts, limited guardianship allows a child to maintain independence in many aspects of life, such as keeping their right to vote, choosing where to live, or working, while the parent retains authority for more specific decisions, such as medical care and education.
This approach allows the child to make key life decisions, while the parent remains involved in decisions that are more complex. Limited guardianship may strike a balance by ensuring that the child is supported in critical areas, without restricting their ability to live independently in others.
Finding the Right Support
Every child’s needs are unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to guardianship. Parents should evaluate their child’s specific needs, their own comfort level, and how they can best support the child’s independence and future. Professional guidance can be invaluable in helping parents make informed decisions. A guardianship evaluation can also clarify whether a guardian is necessary.
Final Thoughts
Finding the right balance between independence and support for your child is never easy. Even if you feel confident in your decision, it’s important to consider how your child feels about it. Do you anticipate resistance or pushback from them? Could the decision create tension or strain your relationship? These are questions worth reflecting on. Having an open conversation with your child about their feelings and including them in the dialogue can help create understanding and ease any potential concerns.
While guardianship may not be necessary for every family, it can offer the right structure for those who need additional support in specific areas. Taking the time to explore all available options and seeking professional guidance can empower you to make a choice that will best support your child’s future, fostering both their independence and well-being.